Somewhere underneath all that crap that sailing outfitters provide for women, is a hot chick. It may not look like a bunch of tight little bods, but they're out there.
Here's a review of the state of women's sailing gear today in one word: non-existent.
The best look we have developed with the gear we have at the moment was found in a pathetic leech of a sailing movie Charlie St. Cloud:
Ladies have this amazing capability of pairing a cozy foul weather jacket with short shorts strategically so it looks like we're not wearing any bottoms. It's quite the attention-grabber if you've got a good set of legs.
Short shorts are most often provided by running companies, though. This brings us to the first and main problem...
1) Shorts
While I understand the logic behind the up-to-the-boobs high-rise waist, I don't like it, won't buy it and definitely don't appreciate it. The high-rise waist logic stems from women bending over to prevent whale-tail.
 |
| whale tail: a woman's thong hanging out of her pants |
What scares me is that these companies use the description "women's fit." What kind of women are they fitting? The ones with a little extra something down there? Just sayin'.
The descriptions are so deceptive. Camet's whole campaign was "new style and cut" for women, but were they really? "Low-rise" is not the term I would use for these belly-button-bordering shorts displayed on my bod. We wear shorts like the Henri Lloyd Women's Fast Dri or Gill Navigator because we have no other choice, not because we would pick them off the rack.
With all the deck wear and tear on our delicious rears, running shorts and boardshorts only last a few wears -a season if you're lucky.
I still hold out hope for the Zhik Women's Boat Shorts because I have not tried them on. The fear is that they will still breach the navel, therefore not my style. Anyone have these and care to voice a comment?
2) Pants
Pants could have no more problems than shorts because they're just longer, right? Wrong. The tapered ankle... Really? It's bad enough that we have a renewed commitment to our skinny jeans. Don't bring the struggle and uncomfortable fit into our sailing swag. Some actual low-rise cargo pants would be nice, but in the meantime I'll stick with a bib instead.
3) Bibs
Oh my god, companies have done something right for once! For the most part... I have an hour-glass figure, and, like many women, my waist is much smaller than my hips. When you pull on the adjustable velcro waistband to fit your hips, do you realize how much fabric that adds to get caught on your sexy ass? It makes you look like you've got one helluva big booty and not in a good way either..
 |
| photo cred: Meredith Block |
Are salopettes the more formidable option? Not for the cutie-patooties. The sizes don't get small enough according to my sister who ended up in the disproportionate kid's sizes.
4) Technical Tees/Polos
I have boobs. This is a factor that many companies overlook maybe because adjusting seams to a bustline is too racy or turns men on too quickly. Regardless, these "women's fit" tech tees have three differences from the men's: 1) they're cropped shorter, 2) the sleeves are shorter and 3) there's are some extra buttons down the front. Back to the tits- when fabric isn't fitted, our boobs create a box-like figure that isn't exactly the most flattering.
5) Jackets
I'm a sucker for a good foul weather jacket. They are my downfall perhaps because I pull out the short shorts or leggings look with them. I live in my Helly Hansen.
Shockingly enough, the jackets are where companies get it right!
Any company is safe in the jacket department.
Here's to the women who have to deal with trying to make sailing gear look good. Some of us pull it off quite well, while others are still grasping at straws.
No comments:
Post a Comment